April 12, 2013

No Expectations

Can the 2013 Pittsburgh Pirates live up to their complete lack of hope?

By Robinzon Chavez   


America-Thrust has tasked the author with following the 2013 Pittsburgh Pirates from the newly-established Pittsburgh Bureau and filing a 500-word-minimum story every Friday for the entire season as the team attempts to have a winning season for the first time since 1992. The first of these stories was a season preview and was finished on time — with several hours to spare. However, the first Friday of the season came and went without so much as a single tweet about baseball from the author.

March 29, 2013

Bucn It Up, Chavez Style: Pirates Preview '013

By ROBINZON CHAVEZ    
HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL, ALLEGEDLY.


The author is one of the most irresponsible employees in the history of America-Thrust, disappearing for months at a time, ignoring deadlines, missing scheduled flights, and engaging in an unprofessional amount of general asshattery. It has reached the point at which the staff is seriously considering a mutiny against the author, who also, for the time being, holds the position of editor-publisher-at-large.