November 28, 2012

A Very Dr. Lou Thanksgiving

By ROBB WITMER FULL    
DR. LOU WOULD LIKE THIS MUCH MESCALINE FOR THE TAPING OF HIS THANKSGIVING SPECIAL.


The author has for decades been cultivating contacts very deep within the ESPNiverse that have provided him with covert information on multiple ESPN employees as well as transcripts for ESPN programming that never made it to the air for various reasons, usually related to the objections of the standards & practices board, upper management, or both.

November 14, 2012

A Major Moment

PUSHMASTER PICKS '012: WEEK ELEVEN

By Robb Witmer Full  |  November 14, 2012

ROBERT GRIFFIN DOESN'T KNOW IT, BUT HE WISHES HE WAS MAJOR HARRIS.


For the eighth consecutive season, the author is competing in the PushMaster Invitational Football Pool, the greatest gambling pool in the history of Sport. Every week players must make five picks against the point spread, college or pro, overs or unders.


If ever there was a time for Tebow, it is now. Everything that could have been predicted about what would go wrong with the Jets this season is happening in beautiful slow-motion right before our eyes — everything, that is, except for Tim Tebow.

November 7, 2012

Romney's Hail Mary

PUSHMASTER PICKS '012: WEEK TEN

By ROBB WITMER FULL    
NOT EVEN DOUG FLUTIE HAD A CHANCE OF COMPLETING THIS PASS.


For the eighth consecutive season, the author is competing in the PushMaster Invitational Football Pool, the greatest gambling pool in the history of Sport. Every week players must make five picks against the point spread, college or pro, overs or unders.


Holy mother-shitting Jesus balls. Just when things were starting to go my way, I shit-tank my way to a 1-4 week, putting a .500 record a few more games out of reach. And while I’m busy rolling around in my pile of rage, it looks as though 4-1 records have become de rigueur around these parts, making my sub-winning record that much more sad.

November 4, 2012

A Gambler's Sampler Platter

PUSHMASTER PICKS '012: WEEK NINE

By ROBB WITMER FULL    
THE RETURN OF RYAN TANNEHILL IS GOOD NEWS?


For the eighth consecutive season, the author is competing in the PushMaster Invitational Football Pool, the greatest gambling pool in the history of Sport. Every week players must make five picks against the point spread, college or pro, overs or unders.


I’ve got the sampler platter today: Home ‘dog, home favorite, road ‘dog, road favorite, with an over thrown in to spice it up. This is not a strategy, just how things shook out.