February 4, 2012

Daddy Needs New Blue Jeans




The author’s hopes for a winning season in this year’s PushMaster Invitational Football Pool were kept alive by a glorious 3-0-0 record the week of the NFL conference championship games.

With a 47-48-3 record going into the Super Bowl, a perfect 2-0-0 week would put the author at 49-48-3 for the second straight season and, more importantly, give him a winning mark for the fifth time in seven PushMaster seasons.

This is it, fellas (and ladies). The whole ball of wax, the big kahuna, all the marbles... everything comes down to one game, the Superest of Bowls.

There’s no money on the line for most of us, but that doesn’t mean these picks don’t matter. Glory doesn’t come decorated in dollar signs, folks; it appears in many shapes and sizes. No matter the form, it looks good with any semi-fashionable wardrobe.

The whole season for me comes down to whether I can scrape together a 2-0-0 week to finish ‘er off. That and only that will give me a winning record, a monumental achievement, considering.

Fifty percent would be, well, meh. Who needs that? This is the PushMaster, bitches. “Balls to the wall” are the first words in the mission statement. So, 2-0 or die.

Thus, I’ve put all my eggs in one basket, or at least in baskets on the same side of the creek. It might flood, it might not, but at least I won’t have to wander very far to find out how many eggs I have left.

As I write this, the top two spots seem to be locked up, though I’ve not done the math. Instead, I’ve utilized my patented “brief glance” method of research. The scrum is on, it appears, for both third place and for the true Crown, the title of PushMaster.

However it all ends up, this has been the most fabulous of seasons. The only thing that could have made it better would be a splendid pile of winnings for myself, especially with the fatness of the jackpot we’re dealing with.

Even so, the level of competition has been magnificent this year, and the levels of Success and Sportsmanship have been off the charts. And our S&S charts at the PushMaster Society are really fucking big, so that’s saying something.

I can honestly say I can’t wait for next season. For the above reasons, yes; of course I’m looking forward to those things. Mainly though, the reason next season can’t come fast enough is because I’m taking that fucker. It’s mine, goddamnit. Daddy needs new blue jeans.

NYG vs NE - Total Completions in the game
OVER (51.5)

What will be higher?
ELI MANNING COMPLETIONS (+1.5) v. LeBron James Points
Both must play for action, wager is for games played Feb 5th only.

BOVADA.lv, 3:58 PM MST, Friday

Robb Witmer Full is the 2006 PushMaster Invitational champion, and the presumed 2012 champion. For details on Football mastery, follow his Twittering account.