December 22, 2011

The Spirit of the Holiday



I’m a pretty smart guy. I read books, and often understand what I’m reading. I can think my way out of a jam, build things without instructions, and run a world-class football pool with only a dozen well-trained monkeys to help me.

When it comes to wrapping Christmas presents, however, I’m a complete hack. The three ten-packs of socks that I got for myself look like I took some perfectly-wrapped presents and ran them through the dishwasher. The square stuff looks better, but still not good.

In the Spirit of the Holiday, I’m keeping it short this week. So, dear readers, the hours upon hours you normally use to comb through my weekly essays looking for golden nuggets on the American Dream or the next trend in fashionable word-play, how’s about spending that time with your goddamn families.

These picks just ooze with Pushiness. I expect at least two this week.

NEVADA (+8) v. Southern Miss
Tebow v. YINZSTACHIO (+3)
Dolphins v. PATRIOTS (-10)
BROWNS (+13) v. Ravens
EAGLES (+3) v. Cowboys

Lines from, which is definitely NOT Bodog, and thus should not be held accountable for any laws Bodog may or may not have broken. 7:27 PM MST, Thursday.

Robb Witmer Full is the Christmas Spirit correspondent for SPORTS-THRUST!! For up-to-the-second wit, follow his Twitter account.